Parents of disabled children, desperate to blame someone for their bad genetics or inexplicable acts of God, have taken to social media in recent years as a “vocal minority” to blame their woes on life-saving measures whose side effects we all know are exceedingly rare: vaccines.
As much as our hearts break for these parents raising non-verbal autistic children in diapers at age 10, or whose kids go into anaphylactic shock six times a year from exposure to common everyday foods, or those with imperfect offspring who suffer from epilepsy and spend a quarter of the year hospitalized, we have to chalk these conditions up to the new epidemic of “Coincidence Disorder” because if there’s one thing we know about these mysteries: they are not caused by vaccines.
There is no limit to the coincidences that these pathetic parents blame on the greatest inventions of the 20th century. Take, for instance, when a seemingly-healthy baby is vaccinated for Hepatitis B before being discharged from the hospital, and suddenly that baby is incapable of suckling at the breast. Never mind that mama had been breastfeeding for 48 hours already, this baby now has to be bottle fed because it has forgotten its eating reflex. Babies are silly and sometimes these things just happen, right? Did you see this study of little monkeys who weren’t able to suckle after a hep b vax? Are we monkeys? No, we are not. We are plagued with Coincidence Disorder, and it’s tragic.
What about the 896 infant deaths after the Hib vaccine reported to VAERS between 1990 and 2013? Sometimes babies just die within 24 to 48 hours of the two or four-month routine immunizations. Do you know why medical examiners never say that a child who died of SIDS in fact died from vaccines? Because it’s not a box to check off on the form, that’s why. Get used to those two and four month spikes in Coincidence Disorder.