Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) returned to the show. He knows all about marriage and divorce because he is a divorce lawyer in Honolulu, Hawaii and has written “DIVORCE with DECENCY” – now in its 5th Edition. In 1972, 75% of all U.S. adults were married, but by a 2010 Census married couples comprised only 48% of all U.S. households. What are the causes and risk factors for divorce? Lack of communication is one: if a couple has experienced cheating, lying, neglect, or betrayal, they may want to throw dishes rather than sit down for a fireside chat. The birth of a first child is another: Gottman long-term studies show that two-thirds of the new parents were very unhappy. They treated each other with more contempt, belligerence, and sadness, as well as with less affection, humor, and empathy than did couples without children but married for the same amount of time. They also found that over the next year, hostility between partners increased dramatically, while the romance dissolved. Another risk factor is a lack of sex. Sexual satisfaction is one of the best predictors of overall happiness. Yet in one study, only 12% of couples reported not having “serious sexual problems” after having children. Brad points out that physical and sexual chemistry for both genders is often better in second marriages. Monogamy was also discussed. Oscar Wilde famously said, “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” Brad will return to the program August 15th for talk about the internet, social media, porn – as well as the rise of the “She Economy”…and more! Tune in
