Welcome to Canada! You threatened to leave America if Donald Trump was elected President—and, true to your word, here you are. We’re so happy to have you!
We’d like to extend an extra-special welcome to the ethnic, religious, and other groups that President Trump has deported from the United States: Muslims, Mexicans, black people, people who look like Muslims, “Jews, who are just Muslims with smaller hats,” Prius drivers, “that one Asian guy,” tweens, “Jessica Alba, because maybe she’s a Muslim. Who knows?,” all women, and books.